Friday, September 16, 2005 :::
Choosing sides…
Every once and a while I get the feeling that there are factions at work in the media that want me, or better yet need me, to declare my self a member of a camp. And it is not even on a critical societal issue. It is not something like pro-life vs. pro-choice or which cola manufacturer has the best zero calorie Splenda blend. Usually it is something so banal and brain-deadening that I have to seriously stop and remind myself that this is the real media and not grade-schoolers playing dress-up journalism.
So what it is recently. Yep, it is our old Friends Jennifer Aniston and Angela Jolie with Brad Pitt arranged nicely in the prettiest freak show I have ever personally witnessed. Jen is crushed. Angelia says Jen drove Brad away. Jen says she is something. A source close to the Jolie camp reports that Angelina said that. And somehow… Brad, who just pulled the greatest lateral Hollywood hot chick move of all time, is not available for comment. He just shows up on the cover of magazines with this massive and egregious shit eating grin that is nothing more than him giving double-barrel “fuck you” finger gestures to the whole of the male population. So why the women fight, the Bradster loves. While Jen boo-hoos and Angie gloats, Brad makes tender love to an incredibly attractive woman on the backs of Ethiopian orphans. While the Tabloids and seemingly legitimate news sources try in vain to get me to cast my vote, to choose which side I am on (The girl-next-door turned hottie turned used up cast-off or the fat-lipped vixen with boobs jacked halfway up to heaven), Brad flirts with the camera and casually reminds me of exactly which corner of my dreams I get to live his life of fantastic train wreck of a love life.
So, if this thing is on… and if this is not really about real people living real life and struggling with real emotions and real divorce, then sign me up. Put my vote down and count me in as someone involved enough to exercise what little slice of democracy I can really be a part of. Jen or Ang? Jennifer or Angelina? Bradifer or Bradgelina? Come on Dammit, choose. Cast your vote. Fucking matter in this world.
Well, I have made my choice and for all the reasons I stated here and a few I didn’t… I choose Brad!
::: posted by Mike at 11:06 PM
