Friday, February 04, 2005 :::
 

The Molecules of Men

It was either homophobia or physics that made what I saw happen. In fact, it is far from an isolated incident. I see it happen all the time.

The conditions have to be just right, but if they are let me clue you in on a phenomenon that I can only describe as “socio-physics”… the study of society at its elementary basics.

There are a lot of elevators in the world. Hospitals, hotels, office buildings, and everywhere in between. I was at a work conference in New York City a few weeks ago and that was when I noticed. It was a long ride to the 50th floor of the hotel so I actually go to see this practical magic at work over a slightly longer period than most might notice it.

Let me set the scene. In the lobby the bell dings and the light comes on over a particular elevator car. Five guys board the elevator and select their respective floor. They each press the corresponding button themselves and only after suspiciously eyeing the matrix of lit and dark buttons for their floor. The elevator goes to the first stop, in silence assuming these men don’t know each other. The doors open and the first of the five men exits without ceremony or emotional farewells. Then it happens… The Dude Shift.

In a blind but beautifully choreographed movement the remaining men instinctively shift their positions to maximize the space between themselves and the other men. Next Floor: one man exits, three remain and redistribute the territory. It is a working model of spatial socialism. There is no contest for control of the vacated terrain by rival alpha males. It is an automatic and non-confrontational redistribution of real-estate. And this keeps up floor after floor until only one remains. The other day it was me, riding alone to the 50th floor in the center of the elevator, the king of the realm.

Now for some contrast, a changing of the variables, if you will. Any good pretend-social scientist will test a theory a few more times before retreating to his website to report his findings. So I watched with both a mixture of men and women and all women with me the only man. Same elevator, same hotel, almost the same floors, but once the variables change, the result changes. That is of course until in mixed company all the women depart leaving only men at which point the old rule applies. In mixed or mostly female company the ride is not so silent. The departing female does little to alter the space. The remainders actually seem more comfortable and likely to chat, in some cases moving closer to one another.

If you have ever taken a physics class, one of the things you learn is the activities of molecules and atoms and protons and electrons in nature. For given stimuli there will be basic and defined actions on all levels. Everyday things get boiled down to the action and reaction of the building blocks of our universe. That is what I thought about during the synchronized repositioning that took place on the elevator rides.

As a general rule, homosexuality notwithstanding, Dudes don’t like standing too close to other Dudes, bottom line. Our molecules are programmed to repel against one another in any available space. Sometimes it is in an elevator. Sometimes it is when one caveman builds his cave-home too far from another to be considered a community. At our basic levels we need separation from our fellow man. Prison doesn’t allow for this. Auschwitz totally violated this micro-biological imperative. Men need space from other Men and their molecules will sense the boundaries as well as the molecules of other Men and react accordingly. The electrons will fire and change their levels and orbits around the nucleus. The atoms will force new energy in a fury of molecular propulsion.

The lesson here is that Men will move. Men will move themselves, their boundaries, and eventually mountains to discover new and unpopulated territory. Manifest Destiny was an invention of the poets. In truth, Dudes in the East moved West to get away from other Dudes in the East who were standing to close to them.

This is the way of the Molecules of Men.

::: posted by Mike at 4:49 AM