Friday, May 09, 2003 :::
 

My Pain Hurts Worse Than Your Pain.

What an anthem this is for the human experience. All you have to do is sample about 10 conversations throughout your day and you will notice a disturbing formula at work. I call this formula "Your Pain Plus One".

It is really simple math. Behold:
1. Primary Pain (converser #1)
2. Obligatory Acknowledgment of Stated Pain. (converser #2)
3. Passive Turnover of Control of Pain Topic. (converser #2)
4. Obligatory Acknowledgment of Secondary Pain (pain plus one).(converser #1)
5. Active Turnover of Control of Pain Topic or new heightened Pain Topic. (converser #1)
6. Repeat Steps 2-5 until conversation terminates or new Converser joins conversation at which points scorecards drop back to Zero and start at Step 1.

Of course there are variations to this formula but, as with most theorems, it generally holds true.

Sometimes we see Pain Plus One at work in non-conversational venues. For example: Last night the Channel 8 news at 10:00 started off with the story of the tornados in Okalahoma yesterday afternoon that damaged many homes and businesses as well as injuring over 100 and leaving thousands without electricity. The teleprompter twink read the Pain Stats (STEP 1), expressed TV compassion for the victims (STEP 2a), showed video of the Oklahoma Governor using all the buzzwords of crisis (tragedy, hearts and prayers, etc.) (STEP2b), and then they immediately started talking about the terrible tornados in Texas' past (RETURN TO STEP ONE AND HOLD)! It was shameless the way they used some blood and guts footage of our northern neighbors as a springboard to talk about how bad "our" tornados were. Our past pain is worse than your current pain...case closed.

Listen for the formula being engaged around you and it might change the way you have conversations. Or not...

::: posted by Mike at 7:02 AM